Better Sex for LIFE!

I think it is an absolute shame when marriages fail because one or the other party in the marriage has grown unhappy or unsatisfied with the sexual aspect of the relationship.  There is nothing more short sighted and selfish in my mind than for a person who is an otherwise typical marriage to begin having sex with other people in order to recapture that "first time feeling" again.

I believe that the sexual aspect of a successful relationship will change and grow, ebb and tide over the years. I think it's important to understand that you may not feel that first time excitement each time you have sex with a partner that you've been with for a long time, but while you can't necessarily recreate that first time experience with your partner, you can keep your sex life exciting and rewarding.

Also, while it's true that if you take a new partner sexually you can indeed get that first time feeling the first few times that you actually have sex with that person, but soon you'll find that feeling fading and you'll have to begin your search again for a "first time" fix.  This pattern can only repeat itself over and over, until this aspect of your life ultimately ruins all the other aspects of your life, your marriage, your peace of mind and even potentially your health.

In other words, if you give in to the urge to go have sex with someone new, just to get that new feeling again, you're headed for heartache.  Better to make the relationship you have more rewarding, add spice back into it, recapture some of that excitement with the person you already chose to spend your life with, and don't fool yourself into thinking that an affair is going to replace what you think you're missing.  Don't talk yourself into believing that sex with this new person would be so wonderful that the two of you would live "happily ever after" once you divorced your current spouse and remarried this new person.  That's a destructive fantasy and the odds of it becoming reality are slim at best.

Ok, so I'm convinced that you should adjust, repair or rebuild your sexual relationship with your current spouse, and wind up with a much more rewarding long term situation than if you give in to the allure of a new sex partner and have an affair.  If I've still got your attention at this point, I'll assume you've decided that I've made some sense, and that you will at least hear me out.  So, let's move on to some of the steps I think you need to take as you work to rearrange your outlook on this subject.

Additional Recommended Reading

• Orgasmology.com - Funny name, I know, but good info here.
• Killer Orgasms - Give them, get them.  Need I say more?
• Esinuals.com - Strange name - excellent advice from the woman's perspective.