New Free Newsletter

Please take a moment to sign up for our new Free Newsletter today, and we'll send you periodic information geared specifically towards getting you the on the road to recover as soon as possible. You're going through a tough time right now, whether you're trying to save your marriage or just get your divorce over as soon as possible, and the more informed you are, the more successful you'll be. It just takes a minute, it's free, and it's a great way to keep someone in your corner, offering advice and helping you get your life back on track.

2011 and Beyond
I am basically an optimist, I tend to believe that good things will be coming along and I try to do what I can to make sure they do. With that in mind, I'm working through some changes to the section of the site specifically geared towards saving marriages.

From studying the patterns of the typical visitor to this site, it has become obvious that most people who visit are not yet divorced, and are looking for ways to avoid divorce, and so we're going to make sure if that's why you're here, you'll find what you need to help you be successful in your attempt to get through your whatever problems are affecting you right now.

If you find what you're looking for here, won't you help us spread the word? Send a link to a friend, mention us on your Facebook page, share a Tweet with someone. There's plenty of people out there who will thank you for sharing some positive information on this most negative of all subjects.

Ok – so you’re here in this section of the site because you want to save your marriage. That’s good news! I personally believe that generally speaking, we tend to give up too easy these days, we expect things to be easy and when they are not, we toss our hands up in frustration and turn away. But Marriage takes work, it isn’t always easy, but I believe the rewards are worth the effort.

You’ve got some work to do if you’re going to turn this situation around, but before we jump into the work, I wanted to share some sobering statistics with you:

• Between 43 and 50% of first marriages will end in Divorce within the first 15 years!

This one stops a lot of people in their tracks. It sure shocked me! Flip a coin, your marriage has as much chance of success as the odds of that coin toss coming up Heads. Ok, we all know statistics can be misused or misinterpreted, but let’s face it, if this trend continues, half the marriages taking place today will end in Divorce.

Now if there is one hopeful piece of information hidden away in that statistic, it’s the fact that roughly half the marriages will survive. So what is our “take away” from that statistic? “You don’t have to give up just yet!”

If you have children, these next two statistics are some that I think you should take note of:

• Four separate studies have shown that between 9 and 15% of children in Two Parent homes drop out of school. Children in Single Parent homes drop out at a rate of 16 to 29%.
• The percentage of Pregnant Teen Unmarried girls in homes with two parents typically runs at a rate of between 11 and 20%. Girls in Single Parent homes get pregnant at a rate of between 19 and 31%.

What parent doesn’t hope for a bright future for their kids? If we look at these two statistics, it does appear that there might just be something to that old notion of “Staying together for the kids’ sake.” We talk a lot about kids in various areas of this site, so I won’t beat this one to death here, but let’s face it, kids with two parents at home seem to have a better chance of making it through school and starting their own families when they really should be.

Think getting a divorce is going to make you happier? Check out this next statistic:

• Look at 100 Single (never married) women is and typically 2.4% of them are Depressed.
• 100 Married (never divorced) women have a Depression rate of 1.5%.
• 100 Women who have been Divorced once have a Depression rate of 4.1%
• 100 Women Divorced twice have a rate as high as 5.8%.

These numbers are according to the National Institute of Mental Health. What I get out of these numbers is that Women tend to be happiest when they are in their first Marriage. Looking at these numbers, it’s clear why drug companies are finding such a market for Anti-Depression medications!

So, let’s take a quick recap of what we’ve learned here. Divorce happens to a lot of people, in a lot of cases it winds up being a bad thing for the kids, and a lot of people aren’t any happier after they’re Divorced. Make a pretty good case for trying to fix things, doesn’t it?

So, where do we begin. Well, that sort of depends on your own personal circumstances, and on the types of problems you are having specifically in your marriage. Some of the reading I’m going to recommend is on the pages in this site, and for some of it I’ll point you to others in this field who have got some really good information about specific problems you might be having. I’m also going to point you to some really good books along the way, for that “deeper dive” into the subject.

Let’s start with the list of the most common sources of problems in marriages today. I’ve assembled this list in order of the most common things other people like you have been looking for as they’ve visited this site:

• Infidelity - This one is ALWAYS #1 on the list of what ails Marriages.
• Communication - Does it feel like the two of you live on opposite sides of a brick wall?
• Abuse - This can be physical, psychological or emotional, but it’s all BAD.
• Money Problems - I have no recent statistics on this one, but it’s probably more prevalent than ever today.
• Boredom - I am not kidding you, plenty of people are just flat bored with being Married.

Now, if you've read this far so far, and you're still not sure which direction you should go, I've found some veryimportant resources that I think you should check out.  A highly respected couple who have devoted their professional lives to helping others, Susie and Otto Collins have made available and ebook entitled " Should You Stay or Should You Go".  If you're really and truly on the fence and can't figure out if you should continue along the path of trying to save your marriage, you owe it to yourself, your spouse and your family to read this ebook.

I also want to take this opportunity to introduce you to an associate of mine, Mort Fertel. Mort has developed the "Marriage Fitness" program, an alternative to typical marriage counseling, and I'm so impressed with his program, I've set some space aside here for Mort to say a few words to those of you who may be struggling with the current state of your marriage.

We have also partnered with the Breakthrough Learning Institute to get you some "right now" solid steps you can take to get on the road to Saving Your Marriage with their free 10 part Email Course that is designed to give you a step-by-step plan to follow to get the rebuilding started.

Additional Recommended Reading

In our ongoing attempt to educate and inform, we've got direct links to a few books on the subject here, and more in our online bookstore.