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However, it seems quite clear to me that we're not there yet. I'm partly to blame, and you probably are too. I'm a feminist, sex-positive 21st century woman whose photographs include me posing in a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume. I write about sex on the Internet for crying out loud! But each day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of focus, the awaiter of messages. I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I'll respond. Sometimes I send a "thanks but Hook Up For Sex Sites no thanks" to I Want To Get Laid Right Now particularly sweet messages, but usually I'm so overwhelmed with the new things to read and the new options in front of me that I dismiss these nice guys too. Basically, I act like a qualified jerk who can pull puppet strings and create OkCupid dance for me however I please.
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Read the profile blurbs: Similar to 8, use people's profiles to get a feeling of whether starting a convo would be a waste of your time. Personally I only consider people who give a damn enough to write something in their profile. The uber lazy 'ask me and you'll Who Wants To Get Laid find out' doesn't count. Also if he can't spell, you might want Hooking Up Site to swipe left.
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