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But it seems quite clear to me that we're not there yet. I'm partially to blame, and you probably are too. I'm a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady whose photographs include me posing at a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume. I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud! But every day, when I log into the dating website of my choice, I play the passive role, the recipient of attention, the awaiter of messages. I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I'll respond. Sometimes I send a "thanks but Hook Up For Sex Sites no thanks" to Free Meet And Sex Sites especially sweet messages, but I'm so overwhelmed with the new things to read and the new choices in front of me that I dismiss these nice guys too. Basically, I act like a qualified jerk who can pull puppet strings and make OkCupid dance for me however I please.

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